Epiphanies of a New Mom (Sometimes You Learn the Hard Way)

Desiree StordahlDon’t take expert advice too literally.
Every book, every nurse, every mom will tell you something different on how to handle baby. For instance there are all kinds of rules about not giving the baby a pacifier or bottle until it is X weeks old. I suffered through five excruciatingly painful days of breastfeeding before I threw in the towel and gave Lo a binkie and bottled breast milk. Best decision I ever made and it hasn’t affected her nursing ability one bit.

New moms really don’t have free time.
I’ve always known that stay at home moms aren’t just sitting around watching TV all day, but before I became one myself, it was hard to grasp how they could be that busy all day long. Now I get it. Honestly half my day is spent breastfeeding or pumping, the other half is keeping up with laundry from blowout diapers, consoling a crying baby, changing poopy diapers, and trying to squeeze in a meal, shower and brushing my teeth… on top of maintaining a semi-respectable house.

You will get less sleep than you think is humanly possible.
Yeah, yeah we all know that new parents don’t get much sleep. What I didn’t realize is that getting two hours of sleep over the course of the evening would be considered a good night. Thankfully it gets better (from what I hear). Until then, it’s baggy eyes, lack of sleep headaches, and Frappuccinos.

Big boobs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
I’ve always been a bit greedy in the boob department and envied those blessed with bigger ta tas. Not anymore. Now that producing milk has bumped me up a cup or two, I realize how ridiculous they look on top of my short torso. (Not to mention the engorgement hurts like heck.)

You will be ravenously hungry.
You think a pregnant chick eats a lot? Just wait until she’s breastfeeding… producing 1 oz. of breast milk burns an estimated 20 calories. That means I’m averaging well over 600 calories per day at this point. That leaves a girl hungry and thirsty!

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